We all have defining moments which forever alter our lives by shifting our thoughts, feelings and actions in a new direction. Sometimes those moments look like natural disasters! Eventually, though, we see that everything took place in perfect harmony with the Law of Attraction.
My life was on a pretty comfortable track in my early and mid-20’s. I was cruising along in that in-between world of no longer being the high school jock or college kid, but not yet ready to be a full-fledged grown up, either. That’s not to say I didn’t have an idea of what I wanted. I had a nice, neat little plan to first earn a sizable amount of money with a business from home, then get married, then have kids. More than anything, I always wanted to be a stay-at-home, entrepreneurial dad so I could be an active part of the lives of my children. but I was in no hurry. I mean – after all – why rush?
And then. Ka-pow! In January 2005 I got a wake-up call . my girlfriend, Jen, was pregnant. I couldn’t believe it was happening. I was stunned and reacted, in a word, badly. I just wasn’t ready and there was nothing I could do about it. I felt totally powerless.
The months progressed quickly and, in the early morning hours of August 22, 2005, I drove Jen to the hospital and had the privilege of watching my son, Dylan, enter the world. I kept thinking, “Wow – I’m a Dad!” And yet, I was still scared and worried. “I need more time to prepare for this!” I thought. It wasn’t going according to plan. Or was it?
During the first year of being a father I built a very special bond with my son, but the relationship between Jen and I ended and I began asking myself what was I going to do so I could be fully involved in my son’s life? For the next few months, we worked it out . making decisions and sharing caregiver roles on a pretty friendly basis.
Then the time came to formalize our co-parenting agreement through a court of law and that was the next big wake-up call as I was drawn into a legal system that dictates how much time aparent can or cannot spend time with his or her child. In a case like ours, in which the mother and father were never married, there were huge hurdles to jump over in order to establish my rights as a Dad.
It became painfully evident that the legal system is not overly friendly to single dads. Rather than engage in the legal rhetoric and offense/defense games, I followed some very good advice and quietly affirmed over and over again gratitude that my son has such a good and loving mother. Being grateful was the key.
I soon discovered how perfectly – and quickly – the Law of Attraction responds to what we put out. Whenever I found myself focusing on the negative aspects of the situation, I would attract more of it. When I focused on the good, I attracted more of it.
In the midst of it all, a huge life-defining moment occurred when Bob Proctor invited me to drive him to the airport for his return flight from Phoenix to Toronto. During the next two hours, Bob challenged me from every angle . he questioned my goals and aspirations and what I said I wanted. Most of all, he challenged me to be honest with myself about what I’m willing to do in order to have the life I want as an entrepreneurial stay-at-home dad fully engaged in the day-to-day raising of my son.
His powerful advice that day helped me to crystallize and hold the image of what I really wanted and to think truth despite present circumstances or events.
Today, with all that behind us, we share 50/50 custody in a true spirit of harmony. I enjoy quality “daddy time” with my little guy – and, what’s more, I can feel great knowing that my time with him doesn’t limit or violate Jen’s rights in any way. It truly is a win-win scenario for all of us – and most especially for our son.
We learned that even when the most unexpected events rock our world, none of us need be a victim of circumstance. We have the ability to choose our thoughts, words and actions in every situation. And that is what ultimately determines the outcome – so long as we hold true to the image of what we want without violating the rights of others.
I know very well how blessed I am to be an entrepreneur, working from home and spending time with my son, just as I had visualized from the start. The Law of Attraction brought all this about with one stroke – with the “untimely” conception of a beautiful boy between two young people who each had much to learn and much to gain – from an experience that might otherwise appear on the surface to have been a disaster.
By embracing it as a gift of love and of learning – we are all growing and enjoying life with this beautiful little boy we call The Love Man – Dylan Paul Gates.
Happy Father’s Day to everyone – Dads and Moms alike!